Washington's Spork town sheriff, Frank Crane, welcomes back his returning daughter, Becca. Despite obvious signs, Becca takes an unusually long time to recognise the halloween decorations up, all over. Even the odd appearances of various people, including her old friend, Jacob White, whose suddenly got canine traits (including a tail), and his odd urge to chase cats. She falls in love with sickly pale Edward Sullen, a member of the depressed, bloodthirsty adopted family of Dr... (Full plot summary below)
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Washington's Spork town sheriff, Frank Crane, welcomes back his returning daughter, Becca. Despite obvious signs, Becca takes an unusually long time to recognise the halloween decorations up, all over. Even the odd appearances of various people, including her old friend, Jacob White, whose suddenly got canine traits (including a tail), and his odd urge to chase cats. She falls in love with sickly pale Edward Sullen, a member of the depressed, bloodthirsty adopted family of Dr. Carlton.
Leave your thoughts about Vampires Suck.
| Ozus' World Movie ReviewsDennis SchwartzAn insult to other bad vampire movies, which is saying a mouthful. |
| E! OnlineMatt StevensWhat sucks more than vampires? Lame, lazy movie parodies aimed at attention-deficient tweens. |
| Bangor Daily News (Maine)Christopher SmithWhat Friedberg and Seltzer need to know is that in order to create a successful spoof, you have to understand the genre's more mature older brother, satire. And they don't. |
| One Guy's OpinionFrank SwietekYou know a spoof is in trouble when it's not even as funny as its target. All three installment of the 'Twilight' series...offer more giggles than this excruciatingly prolonged public-access-cable-quality sketch. |
| EricDSnider.comEric D. SniderIt achieves the basic minimum level of narrative competence. Still not funny, though. |
| Tampa Bay TimesSteve PersallAfter a lucrative career of bashing well-made scary, epic, disaster and date movies, Friedberg and Seltzer have a source begging to be mocked. |
| Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)John BeifussThe latest nitwit spoof from the opportunistic Friedberg-and-Seltzer team is a cut above its scattershot predecessors, due to the specificity of its target and to Jenn Proske's spot-on impersonation of twitchy, angsty Kristen Stewart. |
| 7M PicturesKevin CarrFor the most part, the jokes are mildly relevant at least |
| CinefantastiqueSteve BiodrowskiWith a title like Vampires Suck, you don't buy your ticket expecting sophisticated satire, but is it really too much to ask for a few funny jokes? Sadly, the answer is yes. |
| MovieTime, ABC Radio NationalJason Di RossoVampires Suck has its heart in the right place, but it could've done with sharper fangs. |
