Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on her 18th birthday. In the present day, clumsy, naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two brok... (Full plot summary below)
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Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on her 18th birthday. In the present day, clumsy, naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two broken friends decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart at a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich, and when they arrive in the Baron's Rest bar, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the guys the old Mircalla cottage in the woods, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide, Anke, and Trudi have trouble with their van, and when Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest, the girls offer the guys a ride to their cottage. They introduce themselves as students of folklore who they are researching the Vampire Queen Carmilla. When Fletch believes that he will have a night of beer and sex with three sexy girls and Jimmy and Lotte have a crush on each other, the cottage is surrounded by a group of lesbian vampires that vampires intend to use Jimmy and Lotte's blood to bring Carmilla back to life. They are abducted by the vampires, but Fletch escapes and meets Reverend Vicar, who tells him that Jimmy is a descendant of the baron and the only hope to stop the evil curse of Cragwich.
Leave your thoughts about Lesbian Vampire Killers.
| ScreenwizeCris KennedySure, the whole thing sets gay rights and feminism back 40 years, but Lesbian Vampire Killers doesn't mean to offend. It is, in fact, all rather tongue-in-cheek, very much in the tradition of Sean of the Dead or Lair of the White Worm. |
| The SpectatorDeborah RossIt's not even so bad it's good. It's so bad that, even at 87 minutes, it's probably a good 87 minutes too long. |
| Ozus' World Movie ReviewsDennis SchwartzWritten by Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield with an insatiable urge to suck. |
| MovieTime, ABC Radio NationalJason Di RossoFor others just looking for schlocky kicks, this might have a finger-clicking pace and high-gloss finish, but it's no more than a calling card from director Phil Claydon and the script, written by a pair of comedy-sketch writers, is surprisingly dull. |
| Eye for FilmAnton BitelFilms rarely come as lowest common denominator as this reductive Hammer parody, where wit is replaced with endless knob jokes, and where there are far more mammaries than memories on offer. |
| Shadows on the WallRich ClineSimply isn't smart or funny enough be a cult classic. |
| Dread CentralSteve "Uncle Creepy" BartonIt may not be smart, but under the right circumstances, it sure can be fun. |
| Fan The FireSam BatheThe one dimensional narrative struggles to hit home. |
| Draxblog Movie ReviewsDragan Antulovthe only thing that made it watchable was its mercifully short length |
| What Would Toto Watch?Christian TotoThe DVD release of Vampire Killers leaves out the 'Lesbians' from the title. Also missing are funny jokes, thrills and engaging characters. |
