Blood Diner
Blood Diner

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- 53/100 based on 5,159 votes

Two cannibals/health food diner owners are on a wacky quest to restore life to the five million year old goddess Shitaar. Aided by their uncle's brain and penis, the two set about getting the required parts - virgins, assorted body parts from whores, and the ingredients for a "blood buffet". Their adversaries are the police: the chief with a Russian accent, the "player" detective, and the new Yorker with an Australian accent.... (Full plot summary below)

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Actors in Blood Diner:

Rick Burks
Carl Crew
Roger Dauer
LaNette La France
Lisa Elaina
Roxanne Cybelle

Full Plot Details

Two cannibals/health food diner owners are on a wacky quest to restore life to the five million year old goddess Shitaar. Aided by their uncle's brain and penis, the two set about getting the required parts - virgins, assorted body parts from whores, and the ingredients for a "blood buffet". Their adversaries are the police: the chief with a Russian accent, the "player" detective, and the new Yorker with an Australian accent.

Review & Comments

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Movie Reviews

Starburst - 9/10 by Chris JacksonBlood Diner is a hugely entertaining film in its own right.
FanboyNation.com - 8/10 by Sean MulvihillEverything about Blood Diner is over the top in a ridiculously fun way.
Brooklyn Magazine - 6/10 by Henry StewartBlithely low-budget, flauntedly foul and self-consciously goofy.
Q Network Film Desk - 3/10 by James KendrickGruesomely silly, but not even remotely as funny as it thinks it is, Blood Diner is something of a chore to get through, even for those of us who might otherwise appreciate a gory black comedy.
User Review - 10/10 by Eileen SThis is one of the stupidest movie I have ever seen but......... I absolutely loved it. Very funny. Alot like dead alive. worth the watch
User Review - 10/10 by A.D. Vif you like 80's horror then you have to watch this.worth it just for the battered head.
User Review - 10/10 by Chris BTwo brothers open a health food restaurant. Since childhood they're uncle had been a big influence on them. Teaching them telepathy, dark magic, etc. Until poor uncle Anwar is shot by police during a tragic yet hilarious flashback scene. The Tutman brothers know what they have to do, resurrect uncle Anwar's brain, serve people in their "Vegetarian" restaurant, at the same time piecing together dead co-eds to form the body that will inhabit Sheetar, an egyptian goddess. Watch it, it's funny, campy, and overall a good time. The characters are wacky, the dialogue is horrible, theirs inept cops, a rival restaurant owner with a ventrilliquist dummy, all in all a good time to be had sitting at home with friends laughing your assess off. Piece of advice though, don't order the fishy finger suprise.
User Review - 10/10 by Lori BAwesome! Sick! Love it! Especially because my brother, Rick Burks, is Michael!!!!
User Review - 10/10 by Drew PUnbelievable. This is single handedly the greatest low budget cheesy horror flick I have ever seen. SHEETAR!!!
User Review - 10/10 by Caleb M200TH REVIEW SPECTACULAR! For my 200th review, I decided to do something special, so I thought, "What movie have I wanted to see for a while?" The answer to that was obvious: Blood Diner. Then I decided to do a mega-review, filled with information, insight, links, and more. So sit back and enjoy this jam-packed review of one of the best movies ever: Blood Diner. The movie starts off in 1968 with two kids, George (who's making clay food) and Mike (who's working on his hypnotism) who are alone in the house when suddenly a man beats down the door (which appears to be made out of cardboard) with a meat cleaver! The man turns out to be their Uncle Anwar, who gives them both necklaces and tell them both never to forget him or Sheetar, an ancient goddess he has been teaching them about. Anwar goes outside and is promptly shot down by the police. 19 years later, the brothers dig up Anwar's grave and remove his brain and eyeballs and place them in a jar. Anwar can somehow speak to them without vocal chords, so he can give them guidance as to how they can resurrect Sheetar with a sacrificial virgin and make a "blood buffet". The brothers begin hunting and killing trashy women all across the city as two cops try and track them down. Blood Diner was originally put into production as a sequel to H.G. Lewis' 1964 splatter classic Blood Feast. However, that idea fell through so they decided to spoof it instead. The young Mike character was actually portrayed by a female actress, Roxanne Cybelle. It was finished in three weeks, and upon release, Blood Diner was banned in several areas of Canada. To say Blood Diner is crazy is a major understatement. I can't even find the words to say how insane this movie is. This entire paragraph is about to be filled with spoilers, so I'd recommend you skip to the next paragraph. Blood Diner is filled with incredibly looney moments that are hilarious to watch. Mike covers a naked girl with batter, turns on the deep fryer, has her lie down with her head next to it (she's not suspicious of anything going on), and shoves her head in. She manages to kick her assailant and take her head out, but now her head is literally a huge hushpuppy. She starts running around the diner before Mike knocks her hushpuppy-head off with a broom. The rival chef has a life-size plush doll of a cowboy he makes talk through ventriloquism. The brothers cut off both of the rival chef's hands and he attempts to drive a car afterwards. The topless cheerleader/aerobics squad that get gunned down by Mike in a Ronald Reagan mask. And, my favorite, a fat biker getting run over with a van repeatedly because he just won't die, all set to mambo music! There's so much more where that came from. The acting was exceptionally hammy, but I loved every minute of it. The pace was brisk and it never drags anywhere in the film. Director Jackie Kong knows exactly what type of film it is and she never treats it as anything different. It sets out to be a spoof of Blood Feast and it achieves this without going to disastrous means to pull a laugh from the audience (Epic Movie). Blood Diner isn't on DVD yet, and that surprises me. It has acquired a very large following since its release and is a definite favorite among the horror fans that have seen it. Besides, Dragon Releasing over in Germany gave Blood Diner a very nice Digipack release with an all-new transfer, booklet, and more. I'd love to see Blood Diner done justice on DVD here in the U.S., but all I can do is hope.

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