The Telephone Book
The Telephone Book

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- 67/100 based on 687 votes

The story of a day in the life of a lonely, sensitive, exhuberent, attractive, young woman. Her exploits, encounters, and frustrations as she attempts to find a "special" someone, a caller who has "class", as she puts it.... (Full plot summary below)

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The story of a day in the life of a lonely, sensitive, exhuberent, attractive, young woman. Her exploits, encounters, and frustrations as she attempts to find a "special" someone, a caller who has "class", as she puts it.

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User Review - 10/10 by Ethan RBrilliant. Highly recommended if you wanna see a girl get phone fucked by a man in a pig mask.
User Review - 10/10 by Jonas ÅThe Telephone Book is a comedy about a girl who falls in love with the worldâ??s greatest obscene phone caller (it says so on the cover). "How obscene is this call?" you might be asking yourself. Callâ??s so obscene, bizarre, perverse, inspiring, and filthy they hypnotize any and all who come into contact with their deep breathing glory (that being said we never actually hear what is said onscreen during the juicy parts of the calls; let your imagination be your guide). The caller in question refuses to identify himself initially, and our lovely heroin sits in her apartment (full of pornographic wallpaper), waiting for her next verbal violation like an eager kid at Christmas. Soon the voice is not enough, she wants/needs to find out if the callerâ??s bark is as well endowed as his bite. So our tale begins, a silly sex romp through the streets of Manhattan in the 70â??s as our gal is sent from one strange location to the next meeting who I can only assume are regular NYC fixtures like the flasher, the man with the unkillable erection, the porn king, the woman with the mysterious baby carriage, etc. New York from itâ??s subways to itâ??s caféâ??s, from parks to high rises, becomes a buffet of sensual enticements. Written and directed by Nelson Lyon who would go on to be a writer for Saturday Night Live, this has all the whimsical lightness of similar SNL born and all but forgotten fantasy â??Nothing Lasts Foreverâ??. â??The Telephone Bookâ?? being an earlier film it would seem to have absorbed much of the late 60â??s sex-politics of Dusan Makavejev (in the faux-documentary portions of the film featuring â??realâ?? obscene phone callerâ??s discussing their fetish and trade) and 1968â??s â??Candyâ?? the sex-ploitation re-imagining of â??Candideâ?? (in itâ??s goofiness and naïveté, and without the mishandled â??satireâ??). If you ever wondered what Mark Rappaport doing soft-core might look like (in which case you are a strange person, but we should talk later in private), look no further.â??The Telephone Bookâ?? is not about anymore than itâ??s taglines claims it to be, thankfully not taking sex as seriously as either of the films mentioned above. Sex is never depicted on screen, while sexual acts are usually fragmented by editing, into flailing limbs, belly button close ups, or non specific gyrating bodies shot from a distance etc. â??The Telephone Bookâ?? more than anything is a comedy, and a very funny one at that. Like Voltaireâ??s â??Candideâ?? and Terry Southernâ??s â??Candyâ??, our heroin is so impossibly sweet, likeable, and upbeat through any perversion she encounters, her journey of stalking her stalker, becomes a grail quest were willing to cheer for, not just droll over. Even if our heroin, were to react "realistically" and didn't have that ridiculous Betty Boop voice, it would be hard to resist the charms of actress Sarah Kennedy (who carries the film largely on the strength of her smile) aptly named Alice, as she explores her own concrete wonderland. Besides, who could say no to this face? Only unlike King Arthur and his failed quest, "The Telephone Book" delivers the goods in a final scene almost a quarter of the film long, where the caller recounts his life story of being a man whose craft at dirty phone calls has evolved to the point where if he so desired he could â??...seduce the president of the United States Of Americaâ??. But he has no interest in world domination, he is in it for the â??artâ?? of the call, pure and simple. â??The Telephone Bookâ?? concludes what has become a trinity, with my last two film reviews, of sexploitation films about technology; cars in â??Crashâ??, art/sculpture in â??Blind Beastâ??, and now phones in â??The Telephone Bookâ??. The pattern remains the same, people who have become so distant from each other, they must use objects to bridge the gap between their desires and themselves, but only in â??The Telephone Bookâ?? is this not made out to be entirely a bad thing. This surely comes from the films tone being comic, and the other two being tragic, but itâ??s also more than that. This movie could have taken the easy way out and made the caller a typical lame duck disappointment highlighting A. technologies inherently deceptive nature (it claims to make our lives better, but really just makes things worse/less natural) B. the womanâ??s journey as feminine exploration of her own sexuality (the caller was never important, the orgasm was in you all along young grasshopper!) or C. Social alienation and loneliness of two strangers coming together through chance or fate. Now there are respectable elements of B. and C. at work in small doses here, but A. is completely refuted. ::SpoilerAlert:: The couple do not have sex, or become a couple in any traditional sense. Not because the caller canâ??t, but because he wonâ??t. Much to Alice's disappointment (not so you would notice), he is a talker, not a lover. And though he cannot offer her a body, he can and does give her the â??greatest sexual encounter of her lifeâ?? by the two of them standing in adjacent phone booths and him â??talkingâ?? her ear into a puddle all night. This too could be a sad, sordid little scene in the hands of Harmony Korine or Micheal Haneke, but director Nelson Lyon predates the movie version of the â??The Wallâ?? by editing in animated sequences where every possible object from buildings to clouds to the sun becomes some variation of a penis, breasts, ass, testicles, mouths, or vaginas. Lyon doesnâ??t do this for a few seconds either, this scene goes on for minutes, like â??2001â??sâ?? wormhole sequence only the wormhole runs straight into R. Crumbâ??s sub-conscious. ::SpoilerOver:: The Telephone Book mocks much of the seriousness and criticisms of the sexual revolution, but in the teasing/knowing way a girlfriend might who really keeps it close to heart. Years before the Internet made it possible to meet new people without actually meeting them, it feels like The Telephone Book is mapping out territory for virtual experience, honest enough to recognize it as creepy, sweaty, and absurd, but not so self-righteous that itâ??s not open to the idea that genuine pleasure, romance, or humor couldn't be found in these new relationships either. I was reminded at times of the gentle ending of â??Me And You And Everyone We Knowâ??, with the boy in the park, that could have been a cruel "Law And Order: SVU" episode but wasnâ??t, or â??Private Fears In Public Placesâ??, and the secretary who gives her boss a VHS tape of â??religious tvâ?? which ends with a womanâ??s (presumably the secretaryâ??s) legs and torso dancing provocatively (she is only willing to give him the tapes provided he never mention them to her). There is strange logic at work in those films, but like this movie, it is a specific and honest logic, and so it works. The characters in â??The Telephone Bookâ?? may be no more substantial than the porn-cartoons which serve as stand in for their physical contact, but there is more truth (or if not, at least varieties of truths) to be found in their wide-eyed over-exaggerations than in any art-house trips into â??the dark side of...â??. This was a warm, fuzzy, feel good, modern fairy tale about love and distance that makes the best case Iâ??ve seen in a movie for the old adage â??absence makes the heart grow fonderâ??.
User Review - 10/10 by Eric RThis film is incredibly sexual, especially for an American film. Unless you are counting straight up pornography. Its an incredibly well executed film in every regard as the shot compositions and sound design perfectly counterbalance the sexual comedic tone that for some reason reminded me of Czech sex comedies. Really a hidden gem of a film that could have never gotten exposure at the time of its release. The script is very clever as well and had me interested from beginning to end. Its funny that the only thing Nelson Lyon really went on to was 20 SNL episodes. An amazing experience.
User Review - 10/10 by Christopher GThe Telephone Book, heralded as ?THE GONE WITH THE WIND of 60?s/70?s Underground Cinema? by Richard Winters, is the pinnacle of Sexploitation. This hyperbolic and highly exaggerated statement comes from one who hasn?t the knowledge of the 70s X-Rated film movement to effectively back it up, but I know a little somethin? somethin?. Why this film is damn perfect, is it?s showcasing of our inner pleasures. Humans, always secretive about sex ? or at least Americans, since we?re such prudes concerning the act of coitus and it?s secular pleasures ? fear the day their inner most fantasies be made public. And that?s what The Telephone Book does, to some extent (it can?t cover all fantasies, or else my llama/red panda fantasy would be in the first act, but that?s neither here nor there). Let?s start with who is John Smith. I stole this from an IMDb review: John Smith is ?every man?s deepest fantasy of course.? He is the ?perfect male.? With the luscious voice, the verbosity to collective moisten hundreds of panties, he is who all men aspire to be. Sarah Kennedy plays the Utopian female. Easily swooned and open to acts of deplorable carnality. Cute and dapper, and you needn?t worry about feeling intellectually incompetent. I refuse to delve deeper into the story, for that would just ruin your enjoyment of the film. You must go in somewhat blind, because it?s the only way you can really admire the piece of art you?re viewing. One thing you should know is you will feel a certain amount of sadness knowing Nelson Lyon hadn?t directed anything after. I beg you to restrain your tears, because being a one hit wonder isn?t all that bad.
User Review - 8/10 by Mark AThis obscure little gem looks like it may have been the inspiration for later film classics, or at the very least, a precursor. This is a bizarre, sexy, black and white (for the most part) comedy that embraced the sexual freedom of the time and threw it up on the screen. I found it interesting that Jill Clayburgh had a role in this. Must have been before she hit the big time.
User Review - 6/10 by Matthew SA bizarrely arty approach to smut, and filled with some great vintage NYC footage, this little gem is well worth checking out. Thanks to Vinegar Syndrome from dragging it out into the light once and for all.
User Review - 6/10 by Matty SAn oversexed girl encounters stag film producers, perverts and lesbian seductresses as she searches Manhattan for the obscene phone caller who has stolen her heart. This is sexploitation comedy as designed by the NYC art scene (Warhol Superstar Ultra Violet shows up as the "whip woman"). It bogs down in the middle, but stay until the end for an explicit, surreal cartoon featuring a woman making love to a skyscraper and other obscene sights that have to be seen to be believed.

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