Kelly loved his sweetheart and the girl loved Kelly, but her father wouldn't consent to his daughter marrying a namby-pamby sort of gentleman. He was a veteran and his son-in-law must bear the scars of battle and have trophies galore. Kelly went to enlist, but the army didn't want him. Undaunted, he went to a collector of war junk and he bought enough equipment to outfit a whole battalion. He chartered a boat and placing his formidable armament aboard with the cannon well in ... (Full plot summary below)
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Kelly loved his sweetheart and the girl loved Kelly, but her father wouldn't consent to his daughter marrying a namby-pamby sort of gentleman. He was a veteran and his son-in-law must bear the scars of battle and have trophies galore. Kelly went to enlist, but the army didn't want him. Undaunted, he went to a collector of war junk and he bought enough equipment to outfit a whole battalion. He chartered a boat and placing his formidable armament aboard with the cannon well in front of his rowboat started out to win the laurels of the carnage of battle and come home triumphant. But even a brave soldier must eat, and so when Kelly started to cook he forgot all about the ammunition around him. Up went the ammunition and up went Kelly. But he was wearing the talisman of love and he landed right in the midst of a big battle. With a whirl that sent the enemy flying he grabbed a flag. Before the routed warriors knew what he was about he made a dash for the ocean, for Kelly was in a hurry to get back and claim the girl. With as large a collection of trophies as any militant warrior ever could conceive of, he presented himself at his prospective father-in-law's and claimed honor as a veteran and his girl. He won both.
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