Rufus, Darwin, and Coopersmith are three nerdy, but hunky young college students who score themselves a dream summer job working at a swanky mansion owned by wealthy and sexy middle-aged babes Clara, Victoria, and Edwina. However, the gals turn out to be a coven of deadly witches who transform into flesh-eating cougars who need fresh young man meat in order to live forever.... (Full plot summary below)
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Rufus, Darwin, and Coopersmith are three nerdy, but hunky young college students who score themselves a dream summer job working at a swanky mansion owned by wealthy and sexy middle-aged babes Clara, Victoria, and Edwina. However, the gals turn out to be a coven of deadly witches who transform into flesh-eating cougars who need fresh young man meat in order to live forever.
Leave your thoughts about 1313: Cougar Cult.
| User ReviewMichael BBEST. MOVIE. EVER. HOW CAN THIS MODERN CINEMA MASTER PIECE HAVE BEEN SHOT IN 3 DAY!? |
| User ReviewPaul CBrinke Stevens , Linnea Quigley , and Michelle Bauer in the same movie , I don't care that it sucks. The chance to see these ladies back in action is awesome. |
| User ReviewHaydn WSometimes you just gotta 'love' David DeCoteau's ridiculous sense of 'humour', plus the insistence of "recycle" spirit in his soft homo-erotic collections. |
| User ReviewSylvester KThree college hunks accept a job offer as the personal assistants to three voluptuous older ladies, unaware that they have just signed on with a coven of witches who plan to sacrifice them to earn their own immortality! Notorious B-movie director David DeCoteau reunites the original Scream Queens of Horror for the first time in years as Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer return to the small screen in 1313: COUGAR CULT, which is by all rights a mockery of filmmaking. DeCoteau spends over half the run time filming the boys in various stages of undress as they either shower incessantly or toss and turn in bed (in the middle of the day). The shots would be repetitive at best, but the tiring scenes lose all sense of eroticism as they reach the point of absurdity. The ladies have lost none of their particular talents, and we use that in the loosest meaning of the phrase possible. One can expect all of the same silliness and gross overacting that made their careers in the 1980's, minus any middle-aged nudity. We did find momentary satisfaction in the film's awful special effects, however, where the stationary image of a cougar is superimposed over each of the witches' faces in one of the most ridiculous transformations ever caught on film. While the allusions to the Horror classic CAT PEOPLE is appreciated, DeCoteau falls just short of Jacques Tourneur. And when David DeCoteau's worst isn't good enough, it's time to just film half naked men and forgo any attempts at plotting or character development. Rated: "S" for sexless softcore porn. |
