Mean Machine
Mean Machine

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A soccer star jailed for assault leads a group of inmates in a match against prison guards.... (Full plot summary below)

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A soccer star jailed for assault leads a group of inmates in a match against prison guards.

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Movie Reviews

Philadelphia Inquirer - 9/10 by Steven Rea A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.
Chicago Sun-Times - 8/10 by Roger Ebert Guy Ritchie, who started out as such an innovator in "Lock, Stock, etc.," seems to have headed directly for reliable generic conventions as a producer. But they are reliable, and have become conventions for a reason: They work. Mean Machine is what it is, and very nicely, too.
Chicago Reader - 7/10 by Lisa Alspector Mildly exciting sports-in-prison movie.
Los Angeles Times - 7/10 by Kevin Thomas Mean Machine may not have the resonance to linger in the memory affectionately as "The Longest Yard" does, but it plays well, with a fast pace and plenty of punch.
Orlando Weekly - 7/10 by Steve Schneider There's just something about watching a squad of psychopathic underdogs whale the tar out of unsuspecting lawmen that reaches across time and distance.
Oregonian - 7/10 by Shawn Levy Follows the original film virtually scene for scene and yet manages to bleed it almost completely dry of humor, verve and fun.
Salon.com - 7/10 by Andrew O'Hehir I'm not sure Mean Machine is any worse than "The Longest Yard," but it lacks the nihilistic '70s background that lent the latter's combination of humor and brutality an air of (arguably bogus) social commentary.
Chicago Tribune - 6/10 by Robert K. Elder Holds its ground as a mid-budget Hollywood knockoff.
Chicago Tribune - 6/10 by Robert K. Elder Sports movies are never easy to pull off, but Skolnick does a fine job of balancing the drama with the on-field action.
Boston Globe - 5/10 by Jay Carr More machine than mean, although it's anything but a smoothly running operation.
The New York Times - 5/10 by Dana Stevens The surface is rough and profane enough, and the acting sufficiently restrained, to cover the sentimental story with a varnish of gritty realism. But stylish bravado and bad-boy performances don't make the film any less predictable.
New York Daily News - 5/10 by Elizabeth Weitzman In Mean Machine, soccer is pretty much an excuse to watch a bunch of grown men smashing their heads together. Which, come to think of it, may be enough.

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